Just saying Hi! Worry?

It has been a long two days. I have worked almost non stop 12 hours each day. Not complaining! I am truthfully happy and excited about it!  Making progress! But enough about me. I just came on to say, I pray the reader is blessed. I pray God uplift your mind. Uplift your heart, uplift your spirit, and just fill you with a wonderful spirit of joy and peace and comfort and God send you a sign, that everything is going to be fine!! God deliver us from our worries, from our doubts, from our fears, from our anxieties, and give us a spirit of peace and trust.  Help build up our faith and give us comfort God, in Jesus name Amen!

One thing I noticed in life, so much of my worrying was for nothing. I don’t think I am worried. I do think. But I learned to just trust God. There are things you can change in life and things you can’t.  Perfect planning is not always possible. Like for instance. let’s say you plan a vacation trip. You are all packed and good to go. then next thing, you get a flat tire. Great! you did not leave with that much time for this. So you cuss, you get angered, you say ok no big deal. I have a spare. I can fix this quick. So you do, and again all of a sudden you drive off, get about two miles down the road and all of a sudden the tire pops again.

Now you have no spare. this story can go so many ways. Let’s say some miracle happens and you get to your plane on time. or you cancel and find out later that plane crashes. I don’t really know the ending to the story. the point being you can make plans, plan things perfectly and things can happen you have no control of.

A lot of times when I was younger, I worried about everything. I really took it to prayer.  I heard God speak, why worry about things that could not be?  Have I not taken care of you all this time?  Are you alive now?  Things in life you can change. Some things you can not change and will just be.

I don’t know how to speak worry out of your life. But I do pray God help you not to worry friends, in Jesus name Amen! I am sharing this scripture with a prayer. I pray people learn to make better judgement. Although it is great not to worry, it not wise to not plan my friends. Worry is sometimes useless. Most of the time worrying is overrated. Make plans, make goals, make list. go through your life with a fine comb. Examine self.  Instead of worriers lets be people who make goals and get them done! What are you worrying about?  Is it in your hands? Can you change it?  If you can not change it, why are you worrying? Whatever will be will be and if you can change it, get er done! God bless us all! Love you guys! Have a blessed day dear people! ❤

Matthew 6:26-34 NKJV Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his[b]stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Spirit of heaviness

A spirit of heaviness. suicidal, depression, grief, long suffering. These things are real. They have help centers, medication, but as a person who suffered much grief. when was down God did lead me to Psalms. My bible randomly fell open to Psalms 27. I was holding it and crying to God. after a failed suicide attempt. I could not find answers to my depression. Nobody could give me the words or pills to cure me. I was incurable.

I was crying talking to God my bible fell open to Psalms 27. I read it in tears. I got to the end. I lingered on these two scriptures.

Psalms 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

I read them a few times I started crying more. I started talking to God. Fainted? what does that mean? I am beyond fainting? I need help. I need this pain to go away. This was after my suicide attempt I made mention of on my page. You can find it you want to. labeled suicide attempt part one and 2. Feel free to go watch them both. put suicide in the search bar on my site and it should take you right to them.

Either way when I found out I lived. I said I would not ever try again because honestly what if I failed again too. I just learned my lesson but honestly I was not happy to be alive. and for almost two weeks I would not speak to God. Then I broke down. That is when the bible feel open to that scripture. and I wept to God. and honestly I heard God. but I thought it was the devil because God told me God would heal me. and I did not believe. I did not even believe I was curable. But somehow God changed everything about my mind.

Sometimes I think medicines work. Sometimes I think people need to look at their life. I would love to say everyone pray and find God but the reality of that being is maybe not that great. and even if you don’t call on God today, years from now this conversation could save your life. But I also know if you put it to practice sooner it can help you.

I believe in God. I believe in the power of God. I believe God came to heal the broken. What turns people into believers is the power of the things they say to God. and the things that come after. Seeing makes you a believer, anyways that is what I believe.

God really spoke to my soul. you are what you put in you. change your music. Draw near to me and I will cleanse you of everything. I will create you into something you will not recognize. I never believed, I had to see it with my own eyes, but I tell you it has been many years, and many things are come and I do know I am not down like I was and honestly I can only give my credit to God. Someone I know just recently committed suicide and it seems like everywhere I been going last few days everyone is talking about being depressed. feeling like killing them self. My friends if that is you please get some help. Go to a mental hospital. call a hotline or call on Jesus.

I have been so happy lately and the last few years, maybe even longer, and half of me almost doesn’t want to admit it, because most of the world is in sorrow. and honestly all the years I did go through sorrow I am happy to say I am not now. God taught me how to be content in all situations and I am thankful for that. because I don’t think I have a perfect life. in fact even this year I went through things that would slow others down. but something about trusting God. just takes all them worries and stuff away, they just aren’t yours anymore.

I do say I believe instead of thinking on the negative. Think about the good. because as little as you have and as bad as it is. it can always get worst. Sit down with a paper. make goals of where you see your self. Force yourself to think positive. the Word of God is mind transforming I think anyways. but seriously hard to get up when your only thinking things to bring you down.

People are out there without homes, without shelter, without running water. Children are being raped and mothers lose children. please just think, man I am alive. I could be worst and as long as I live I can change. Take all your doubt to God. Lord I can’t do it. I can’t change. I can’t do anything on my own. help me God. put me on a path to lift myself up.

if you’re in a bad situation pray yourself out of it. if your in a bad circle and don’t know how to go forward. pray and ask God to send you angels and help. Set your heart on life and God and you might find what you are looking for. That is what I believe dear people.

P.S. I did not write about bad things so you can stay there. i wrote about them so you can say man I am blessed I have more then others. I am alive. I can still change my life.. That is a blessing friends! I only say these things, for these are the things I did in my life and they helped me greatly, I pray they help others too. have a blessed day dear people!

Also if you are doing drugs and thinking suicidal thoughts. Find help. Drugs are downers, even uppers when you come down are downers. they are all depressants my friends. Want to know why you aren’t happy? if you are doing drugs it is because you are an addict and feeding the fuel and sorry it might hurt but it is truth. You want happiness go to rehab or go to Jesus and ask for full body healing because it is fact drugs don’t bring happiness. just temporal empty feelings with a desire to get more drugs, never ending cycle of depression friends and that is truth!

I pray many get drunk of the Holy Spirit. best High on planet earth! To be clean, sober and praising God. To be delivered. To find happiness without destroying yourself! Best high on earth!

Isaiah 61! replace sorrow with praise. A change of music is smoothing. I love God music it breathes life into the bones! If you listen to songs about slicing your wrist when you’re down or how God awful this world is, Don’t be surprised if those thoughts multiply.  Input produces Output.

Getting up

Life has ways of knocking us down and when you get knocked down, get back up and repeat process no matter how many times you fall. But man after so many falls people get tired. I can’t get back up. I had mad pride. I said to , Myself I could do it, and I did and I was good at it.

Being in first place has it’s glory but at the same time always someone who wants to be better then you, and even if you beat them, one day a younger generation will come and from day one their goal will be to beat yours, and one day you will not be first anymore. it goes to a new person.

So what happens when you’re down? Well when I was denying God. Running from people who tried preaching the bible at me. I listened to self help. I watched motivation speakers. I tried doing all things things and I never was able to get back up. I was tired. I had a life not a lot of people have had on earth. I know this because I have spoken to many. And I don’t even speak a tenth of my life and most people say ohhh girl don’t tell me anymore.

I agree I don’t want to talk about the past.  That is not who I am today. But I hit a breaking point. I had no where to go. I truly do believe I had a mental break down. Which when I think about it, surprised I went as long as I did without having one sooner.  Men go to war and they after only but maybe 3 years are ruined mentally permanently. and honestly although I was not in war I do know I had so much tragedy happen to me.

Again not a lot had the life I did, and honestly it is not a competition; If you had a hard life I am praying for you. If you have a testimony speak it, but truly I am not in a race with anyone my friends. In fact I don’t even speak to be anything. I speak praying God send a former me to my page. I wish I had a woman like me when I was younger. I speak to everyone what I wish people would of told me. I asked so many grown up things and sometimes they answered and sometimes they didn’t

I found in my life the ones who gave advice for me to live, were the ones who really loved me.  Even if it was things I did not want to hear at the time. When I was down in my life at the lowest. When so many terrible things happened only God was there, and before I used to cry about being alone, and now I thank God for it. For it is those tears I shed that brought me to seeing God my friends.

I would not be speaking God so much if I did not believe so much. trust me, when I wasn’t a believe I was speaking anything but God. I spoke about drugs. I spoke about sex. I spoke about the things the world was doing. and I thought it was fun. I thought these things were happiness. then why am I alone crying I said?

I am glad God intervened in my suicide attempt for so many lovely memories I have had since. Sure I had other bad times but I had so many good things come, I can not be sad about the hard times. i don’t even really remember them. I remember seeing God. and I thank God for that.  I think if people got to see God. they would taking a beating for God 1000 times over. they would sell their houses, their possessions and they would say anything God!!! I give it up for you!!! if they really knew the love of God.

I tell you I only spoke about my life to say I would of did it all a hundreds over and worst. if I knew what I knew now and God spoke to me. Hey you are going to have to take a million beatings for me, So much bad things will come or you can take this easy path that leads to hell. or you can take that beating to see me. I would bend over, hand God the belt and say God 1 million give me, and can I have one more just so I never forget HOW GOOD YOUR LOVE IS!

I know this sounds sick but that is the reality of the life I lived. I was beaten so many ways, so many times and all of it brought me to God! ❤ man Indeed you turned my wailing into dancing! WHAT A MIGHTY GOD I SERVE!

Dear people if you are down, if you are broken. Call out to God for only God can quiet the storms. and Jesus said wind be still!  I pray many rest with Jesus my friends BECAUSE HARD TIMES MAKES YOU A BELIEVER!  Well for those who call on God anyways. I just think that IS WONDERFUL GOOD NEWS! My GOD is so WONDERFUL! ❤ Might want to watch part two of that suicide attempt if you watch one. You can find it by searching for it in the search bar.

A million times you get knocked down get back up. make it a million and 1. and when you get tired of that say God I need some help give me strength. or sit and rest with God. that is a delight!

Also to any who are seriously suicidal. I pray God lead you to a church, to a pastor, to a hospital, to the 1800 suicide number. To the bible. to prayer in the closet. anything so you can live friend and I pray you get to live and make a million and 1 new memories in Jesus name Amen!  life can change.  if you don’t like life sit down with a pen and paper and make a list. Get some help, get some counseling. Life is worth living you probably just going to have to change the direction you are heading in friends. I truly pray if any broken are lead to see this may God just give you a full body healing, mind, body, soul and spirit in Jesus name Amen!

The problem with most of my life is I was chasing fantasy looking for T.V. in reality and honestly that was a majority of my problems. I do mean looking for love in three days. searching for the perfect family. waiting for my dream guy to save me. i was going to get a million dollars from a stranger type thing. The fairy tale t.v. world perfect life romance, Cinderella stories rarely exist in real life, and if we spend all our life looking for never land we will wake up old and say what happened?  Just words to consider! Shalom dear people!


Monsters are real

So I did a video, which I will share, but it was a bad video honestly. I had a few emotions, I was lead to some random video which is so odd, because honestly I am always suggested usually bible scriptures or messages about God, as I spoke about it in this video. Again that video was not that good. i just made reference to it because honestly the night before I made that, youtube suggested me this video. and it made me mad.

People say God loves us all and NO GOD DOES NOT LOVE ALL! For not everyone in this world is God’s There are monsters. and many monsters are being given power to grow because nobody talks about it. churches hardly even speak on sin any more, and everyone else keeps topics like this in the closet. We don’t want to speak on it. As I said in the video I made I think we need to speak to our kids. A little more knowledge being spoken COULD NOT HURT! And again the next few days I will really be going into great details about the results of sin and this is the time where people can leave, because most the time people don’t want to hear these things. We want to be encouraged. we want to act like these things don’t exist. and when you speak truth they vanish. and honestly I don’t mind.

Say a kind word,  and honestly this is why I can’t be like everyone else. So many want to pretend this stuff does not exist and that is why it is being able to grow rapidly because nobody is approaching it. Let’s all just close our eyes and act like it doesn’t happen. I may not be able to stop monsters but God give me strength to be bold and call these monsters out in Jesus name Amen!

Monsters exist in the world and so many put their babies in bikini’s, flaunt them, paint them with make up and share it for the whole world. People THERE ARE MONSTERS IN THE WORLD! Consider such things!

Sex Alert

I am sharing this video because I think tomorrow and maybe the next few days I will go into some of my series I do every so often. I believe God created man and woman for each other. I believe we are broken because we disobey God. I once did a video that was all over the place and that was a few months ago.  I pray I can put another out there better worded then the first. But beyond porn, I really pray God bring us back to marriages. So many different speeches I can give about sex, about porn, about children being molested. babies being raped. and not hardly want to talk about it and that is sad because it happens to wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more then many think.  So for the next few days I am going to dedicate my page to sex education, to modest dressing why we should, to teaching your kids some things about predators. and honestly not all parents know these things and I pray God lead a generation that will listen.

I believe with my whole heart God tells us not to sin for LIFE to us and I said a few weeks back I was going to speak of sin and the repercussions and for the next few days we are going to discuss such things. But sorry it will not all be about sex, but I am going to speak about the things most churches won’t touch and I pray it bless people and help us make better choices because honestly everyone just walking around doing what we want isn’t working out for us that well. The evidence is all around us in the world.

If any have time to watch this. it was 52 minutes long, and truthfully I think it is one of the best things I have watched for awhile now. I salute this woman. Also for those who thinking watching porn is innocent. It really isn’t and I pray some people consider our actions.  I truly pray this video kills lust and help many of us just consider some of our actions. Oh God puts all these laws on us they say. Man thank GOD FOR THAT! Thank God for loving us! God knew Adam and Eve.

God knew that it was good for one man and woman to be together as God created such things. God did know the best for people. Only the people knew not God. and honestly Poor Rachael and Leah always fighting over Jacob’s attention. I myself believe it was God’s designs and intention for one man and one woman to be together UNTIL DEATH DO THEY PART!  Only men changed God when they follow their heart. Those are my beliefs. I will speak more on such things tomorrow to any who want to listen! God help many of us overcome sexual addictions and let us flee sexual immorality, and fornication.

from broken families, to broken people, to broken thinking we broke God’s covenant and wonder why we are broken. I am going to speak truth and wisdom on this topic. Coming tomorrow and the next few days. Shalom dear people!

Do you like you?

So a couple years back on facebook I was giving what i considered motivational messages and as I was doing this, This song flashed through my news feed.  It is not God music but just think that is so amazing how right on time it was for the things I was writing and speaking. Self esteem is a terrible thing if you have none.

 You can change your looks. You can put on ten pounds of make up. own all the best clothes money can purchase, and if you don’t like you NONE OF IT MATTERS!  I noticed as I started sitting with Jesus. the more I changed the more I loved myself. Without make up, without designer clothes. I can truly say I love me and that is one of the best things in my life God gave to me!!!

Beauty fades. clothes can not change age. Sicknesses come. Life happens. material things are only temporal.  if you are not happy with your outwardly appearances, i pray God clean up your innards and create you into something you can fall in love with.   One thing David spoke is I will lay me down to sleep in REST! Psalm 4:8. When Jesus changes your heart you fall in love with your self. Jesus changes our innards my friends and that is TRUE BEAUTY at it’s finest!! Food for thought dear people! I think the words in this song are pretty powerful. Even though it never mentions God. i believe this is something God would sing to us.

I know when I had no self esteem God lead me to compliment myself, Best thing in life I ever did and I had to look really deep to be able to do such things. and if you love nothing about yourself. I pray God fill you with a new heart you can fall in love with. So much love it is enough for you to believe in yourself. Take your make up off. Take your clothes off. Naked you came into the world. The LORD sees our hearts, and if our hearts are not beautiful LORD create with in us new hearts fashioned after you GOD in Jesus name Amen! have a blessed day dear people! Do you like you?

Forgiveness part 2

I don’t want to forgive anybody. Why would I? Look what they have done? and while you’re at it, look what you are doing to you. I am not different from many. When you live in the past. it sometimes hurts. if bad things happened to you twenty years ago. let it go my friends. You can’t keep drinking looking for happiness. those people are gone. and if they are not 20 years makes you an adult. Time to put them grown up pants on and understand if you don’t forgive that stuff will kill you. There is no future when you are standing in twenty years ago my friends. Whether if it be less then that, or more.


Until you say it is done. That is over.  You will just keep reliving it.  many people make bad decisions and self destruct because of the things done to us. Why I say follow Jesus? I noticed in my life. the more I sat with God. The happier I got. The more I listened and stopped doing the things God told us not to do. The better my life became.


In my heart I would speak about God 24-7 even though I do with my lips too, because honestly as low, as I was and as great as I am now, If people could see, and feel, and experience such things I think they would all choose God!  We all say we know what is in the bible. But how many truly go read it?


If you open the bible to say there is no God you will probably never see God. but if you open it with could this be possible or I believe, you will see mighty things my friends.  not many proud, not many noble, not many just people will ever find God. For most of those have all ready exalted self as gods.


I had many people say to me. You are weak for believing in God. I say my friends it is my weakness that made me believe God! For in my weakness  I called to God and by God I was made strong!  So yes I confess I am weak.

I believe one of the beginning steps in finding God is asking for forgiveness. For telling God you forgive or even saying God I don’t know how.  Then I say God help me stop lying and this one going to hurt a little bit. but if you have to lie about it. probably should not be doing it.

May the broken be made whole. Matthew Chapter 5 is truly a priceless chapter! I pray this bless the listener! Shalom dear people! You can find part 1 here