Rewards with no work..Huh?

Most of my life I was fit. I was active. I got depressed I gained over 100 pounds. i was morbidly obese. I lost it all through diet and exercise. I kept it off for almost 6 years. then I got tired. i said this doesn’t have to be a lifestyle my whole life does it? So I stopped. Over about a year and a half I put on 60 pounds. I started in 2017 around October to diet and exercise again. by march 2018 I only had about 20 more pounds to lose and I was back to my weight before I stopped exercising! yay!
But then I almost died. and it took me almost 2 months to heal. and I couldn’t exercise. and when I could i just lost my motivation. well again about October in 2018 I started back up exercising and as long as I live I now understand this must be a lifestyle I maintain my whole life.
I fully confess this time I do not know my weight. i don’t want to. i just told my self I will exercise religiously and eat right and in four months or so i will weigh my self. I am not thinking about numbers because I know as long as I do it, I will lose it. i say this because one day I will share all the updates and progress but until then i just write this as part of my testimony.
Life is hard. if you quit you won’t see change. i never believed in a diet pill. you want to lose weight, EXERCISE! Diets take months to see change and the minute you stop only takes a second to gain it back. the only true life style change is to do that. Change your eating habits. make time for exercise. and much the same way we lose weight, that same mentally needs to be in our walk with God. if you sit with God daily you will see results beloved. anyways I am a firm believer in that! have a blessed day beloveds!
we all want riches without working. weight lost without exercising. blessings from God without repenting and honestly that kind of thinking is insanity. I am just keeping it real. i pray this message give people something to consider. if you are tired of your life. change the things you are doing beloveds and that is my advice. I pray it blesses someone today in Jesus name Amen! Shalom dear ones!


This is going to be the year God blesses a great multitude of people. and they shall rise and GOD will give them power to overcome the enemy and stomp on his head and say devil you have no authority. and the LORD said it is finished and it will be completed by the ZEAL OF THE LORD! Happy NEW year dear ones! it is written the people in the darkness have seen a GREAT LIGHT and when the whole world walks in darkness the LIGHT will shine!! Dear ones there is so much darkness all around and only Jesus came in LIGHT and LOVE and came with the redeeming blood. let us be like those who covered our houses in the blood of the Lamb but then lets not be like those who complained in the wilderness, but instead let us be made NEW in Jesus name Amen!

So how can a man be born again? he can be washed clean by Jesus!! he can sit with GOD and let the LORD renew his mind, his soul and spirit, and man the LORD can do that for woman too! and even child if they are willing! and that is truth dear people! I pray this video bless many!! it is what I consider edifying and refreshing and renewing. have a blessed day dear ones! Just some wisdom for people who want to move forward, and come to some understanding in their life.

Stars who were sexually abused

I pray many people who were abused, you do not have to confess to me. But honestly, it is nothing to be ashamed of. You did nothing wrong. The wrong was done to you. I pray if this is you reading my page. Do your self a favor and google stars or famous people who were molested. Life can change. the first step in healing is forgiveness and if you don’t know how to forgive I pray you confess it to God. Like I did. I tell you when I say until that moment I was unable to let go.  I was self-destructing. I was a dead vessel. I had turned off all emotions. God, I want your forgiveness but I can’t forgive them. I don’t know how to. I cried. Can you help me? I laughed. God would not hear someone like me. MY FRIENDS GOD DID!

There was no pills that healed me. No comforting words of others. I truly had to cry to God and God started helping me. I thank God for this too! Otherwise, I would still be broken. I heard God speak life to me. I never knew it was in the Bible for I had not been reading much but I cried to God. So many tears. and God heard those tears. I never knew it was written in the Word, that God would heal someone like me AND GOD DELIVERED THOSE WORDS! Even though I was ignorant to them!

That is just so WONDERFUL! If you are like the former me. I pray you just hear these words and they save you and God help you too my friends. God never wanted us to be broken and when I had no comforter God comforted me! I am so thankful I took all those tears straight to God. if you have a story like me. Please, I suggest you do the same thing my friends.

Either way you can hide your abuse in the closet, and while you are there. I pray you seek out other people who have overcome. There is still life. If you change your life, and change your patterns you may just find you are so thankful you lived. I pray God leads you to places you need to be for full body healing, mind, soul and spirit, in Jesus name Amen!

Totally in love with Jesus!

This is just an open invite to any who struggle in their walk with God.  I invite you to follow me on facebook. I do not always accept friends request. Some I do, some I don’t, and honestly I don’t have a lot of time to entertain private messages. but it is truth when I say, daily my heart is set on God. So if any out there struggle in their walk with God. I invite you to follow me on facebook. Every day I share scripture, or I share praise or worship, and I write stories that do not always hit WordPress and vice versa.  I do not share this to attract a huge crowd, but if you are struggling to walk with God or just a baby in Christ, it truly does help to be around like-minded people. So with that said I invite you to come send a friends request or follow. Again I might not accept every friend’s request sent. but my post are public.

Truly praying for a lot of people. may God strengthen God’s numbers and the hearts of the listeners and bless those who come to this post in Jesus name Amen! whether or not you come to my page, I am me seven days a week! This is not an act or a show, it is who I am daily and I do pray anything I do lead any to a closer relationship with God. I pray the things I write, say, share and post inspire you to grow daily in God and those are my prayers! Shalom dear people, and GOD bless everyone!!! ❤ Those who follow and those who don’t!!! I pray many of us be followers of THE WAY!  GOD IS WONDERFUL! ❤  Written in the utmost love for all people! Find me on facebook!  Shalom dear ones!

Proverbs 11:14 KJV Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 27:17 NIV As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 13:20 NIV Walk with the wise and become wise,
    for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 19:20-21KJV Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. 21 There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.

Just saying Hi! Worry?

It has been a long two days. I have worked almost non stop 12 hours each day. Not complaining! I am truthfully happy and excited about it!  Making progress! But enough about me. I just came on to say, I pray the reader is blessed. I pray God uplift your mind. Uplift your heart, uplift your spirit, and just fill you with a wonderful spirit of joy and peace and comfort and God send you a sign, that everything is going to be fine!! God deliver us from our worries, from our doubts, from our fears, from our anxieties, and give us a spirit of peace and trust.  Help build up our faith and give us comfort God, in Jesus name Amen!

One thing I noticed in life, so much of my worrying was for nothing. I don’t think I am worried. I do think. But I learned to just trust God. There are things you can change in life and things you can’t.  Perfect planning is not always possible. Like for instance. let’s say you plan a vacation trip. You are all packed and good to go. then next thing, you get a flat tire. Great! you did not leave with that much time for this. So you cuss, you get angered, you say ok no big deal. I have a spare. I can fix this quick. So you do, and again all of a sudden you drive off, get about two miles down the road and all of a sudden the tire pops again.

Now you have no spare. this story can go so many ways. Let’s say some miracle happens and you get to your plane on time. or you cancel and find out later that plane crashes. I don’t really know the ending to the story. the point being you can make plans, plan things perfectly and things can happen you have no control of.

A lot of times when I was younger, I worried about everything. I really took it to prayer.  I heard God speak, why worry about things that could not be?  Have I not taken care of you all this time?  Are you alive now?  Things in life you can change. Some things you can not change and will just be.

I don’t know how to speak worry out of your life. But I do pray God help you not to worry friends, in Jesus name Amen! I am sharing this scripture with a prayer. I pray people learn to make better judgement. Although it is great not to worry, it not wise to not plan my friends. Worry is sometimes useless. Most of the time worrying is overrated. Make plans, make goals, make list. go through your life with a fine comb. Examine self.  Instead of worriers lets be people who make goals and get them done! What are you worrying about?  Is it in your hands? Can you change it?  If you can not change it, why are you worrying? Whatever will be will be and if you can change it, get er done! God bless us all! Love you guys! Have a blessed day dear people! ❤

Matthew 6:26-34 NKJV Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his[b]stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Spirit of heaviness

A spirit of heaviness. suicidal, depression, grief, long suffering. These things are real. They have help centers, medication, but as a person who suffered much grief. when was down God did lead me to Psalms. My bible randomly fell open to Psalms 27. I was holding it and crying to God. after a failed suicide attempt. I could not find answers to my depression. Nobody could give me the words or pills to cure me. I was incurable.

I was crying talking to God my bible fell open to Psalms 27. I read it in tears. I got to the end. I lingered on these two scriptures.

Psalms 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

I read them a few times I started crying more. I started talking to God. Fainted? what does that mean? I am beyond fainting? I need help. I need this pain to go away. This was after my suicide attempt I made mention of on my page. You can find it you want to. labeled suicide attempt part one and 2. Feel free to go watch them both. put suicide in the search bar on my site and it should take you right to them.

Either way when I found out I lived. I said I would not ever try again because honestly what if I failed again too. I just learned my lesson but honestly I was not happy to be alive. and for almost two weeks I would not speak to God. Then I broke down. That is when the bible feel open to that scripture. and I wept to God. and honestly I heard God. but I thought it was the devil because God told me God would heal me. and I did not believe. I did not even believe I was curable. But somehow God changed everything about my mind.

Sometimes I think medicines work. Sometimes I think people need to look at their life. I would love to say everyone pray and find God but the reality of that being is maybe not that great. and even if you don’t call on God today, years from now this conversation could save your life. But I also know if you put it to practice sooner it can help you.

I believe in God. I believe in the power of God. I believe God came to heal the broken. What turns people into believers is the power of the things they say to God. and the things that come after. Seeing makes you a believer, anyways that is what I believe.

God really spoke to my soul. you are what you put in you. change your music. Draw near to me and I will cleanse you of everything. I will create you into something you will not recognize. I never believed, I had to see it with my own eyes, but I tell you it has been many years, and many things are come and I do know I am not down like I was and honestly I can only give my credit to God. Someone I know just recently committed suicide and it seems like everywhere I been going last few days everyone is talking about being depressed. feeling like killing them self. My friends if that is you please get some help. Go to a mental hospital. call a hotline or call on Jesus.

I have been so happy lately and the last few years, maybe even longer, and half of me almost doesn’t want to admit it, because most of the world is in sorrow. and honestly all the years I did go through sorrow I am happy to say I am not now. God taught me how to be content in all situations and I am thankful for that. because I don’t think I have a perfect life. in fact even this year I went through things that would slow others down. but something about trusting God. just takes all them worries and stuff away, they just aren’t yours anymore.

I do say I believe instead of thinking on the negative. Think about the good. because as little as you have and as bad as it is. it can always get worst. Sit down with a paper. make goals of where you see your self. Force yourself to think positive. the Word of God is mind transforming I think anyways. but seriously hard to get up when your only thinking things to bring you down.

People are out there without homes, without shelter, without running water. Children are being raped and mothers lose children. please just think, man I am alive. I could be worst and as long as I live I can change. Take all your doubt to God. Lord I can’t do it. I can’t change. I can’t do anything on my own. help me God. put me on a path to lift myself up.

if you’re in a bad situation pray yourself out of it. if your in a bad circle and don’t know how to go forward. pray and ask God to send you angels and help. Set your heart on life and God and you might find what you are looking for. That is what I believe dear people.

P.S. I did not write about bad things so you can stay there. i wrote about them so you can say man I am blessed I have more then others. I am alive. I can still change my life.. That is a blessing friends! I only say these things, for these are the things I did in my life and they helped me greatly, I pray they help others too. have a blessed day dear people!

Also if you are doing drugs and thinking suicidal thoughts. Find help. Drugs are downers, even uppers when you come down are downers. they are all depressants my friends. Want to know why you aren’t happy? if you are doing drugs it is because you are an addict and feeding the fuel and sorry it might hurt but it is truth. You want happiness go to rehab or go to Jesus and ask for full body healing because it is fact drugs don’t bring happiness. just temporal empty feelings with a desire to get more drugs, never ending cycle of depression friends and that is truth!

I pray many get drunk of the Holy Spirit. best High on planet earth! To be clean, sober and praising God. To be delivered. To find happiness without destroying yourself! Best high on earth!

Isaiah 61! replace sorrow with praise. A change of music is smoothing. I love God music it breathes life into the bones! If you listen to songs about slicing your wrist when you’re down or how God awful this world is, Don’t be surprised if those thoughts multiply.  Input produces Output.

Getting up

Life has ways of knocking us down and when you get knocked down, get back up and repeat process no matter how many times you fall. But man after so many falls people get tired. I can’t get back up. I had mad pride. I said to , Myself I could do it, and I did and I was good at it.

Being in first place has it’s glory but at the same time always someone who wants to be better then you, and even if you beat them, one day a younger generation will come and from day one their goal will be to beat yours, and one day you will not be first anymore. it goes to a new person.

So what happens when you’re down? Well when I was denying God. Running from people who tried preaching the bible at me. I listened to self help. I watched motivation speakers. I tried doing all things things and I never was able to get back up. I was tired. I had a life not a lot of people have had on earth. I know this because I have spoken to many. And I don’t even speak a tenth of my life and most people say ohhh girl don’t tell me anymore.

I agree I don’t want to talk about the past.  That is not who I am today. But I hit a breaking point. I had no where to go. I truly do believe I had a mental break down. Which when I think about it, surprised I went as long as I did without having one sooner.  Men go to war and they after only but maybe 3 years are ruined mentally permanently. and honestly although I was not in war I do know I had so much tragedy happen to me.

Again not a lot had the life I did, and honestly it is not a competition; If you had a hard life I am praying for you. If you have a testimony speak it, but truly I am not in a race with anyone my friends. In fact I don’t even speak to be anything. I speak praying God send a former me to my page. I wish I had a woman like me when I was younger. I speak to everyone what I wish people would of told me. I asked so many grown up things and sometimes they answered and sometimes they didn’t

I found in my life the ones who gave advice for me to live, were the ones who really loved me.  Even if it was things I did not want to hear at the time. When I was down in my life at the lowest. When so many terrible things happened only God was there, and before I used to cry about being alone, and now I thank God for it. For it is those tears I shed that brought me to seeing God my friends.

I would not be speaking God so much if I did not believe so much. trust me, when I wasn’t a believe I was speaking anything but God. I spoke about drugs. I spoke about sex. I spoke about the things the world was doing. and I thought it was fun. I thought these things were happiness. then why am I alone crying I said?

I am glad God intervened in my suicide attempt for so many lovely memories I have had since. Sure I had other bad times but I had so many good things come, I can not be sad about the hard times. i don’t even really remember them. I remember seeing God. and I thank God for that.  I think if people got to see God. they would taking a beating for God 1000 times over. they would sell their houses, their possessions and they would say anything God!!! I give it up for you!!! if they really knew the love of God.

I tell you I only spoke about my life to say I would of did it all a hundreds over and worst. if I knew what I knew now and God spoke to me. Hey you are going to have to take a million beatings for me, So much bad things will come or you can take this easy path that leads to hell. or you can take that beating to see me. I would bend over, hand God the belt and say God 1 million give me, and can I have one more just so I never forget HOW GOOD YOUR LOVE IS!

I know this sounds sick but that is the reality of the life I lived. I was beaten so many ways, so many times and all of it brought me to God! ❤ man Indeed you turned my wailing into dancing! WHAT A MIGHTY GOD I SERVE!

Dear people if you are down, if you are broken. Call out to God for only God can quiet the storms. and Jesus said wind be still!  I pray many rest with Jesus my friends BECAUSE HARD TIMES MAKES YOU A BELIEVER!  Well for those who call on God anyways. I just think that IS WONDERFUL GOOD NEWS! My GOD is so WONDERFUL! ❤ Might want to watch part two of that suicide attempt if you watch one. You can find it by searching for it in the search bar.

A million times you get knocked down get back up. make it a million and 1. and when you get tired of that say God I need some help give me strength. or sit and rest with God. that is a delight!

Also to any who are seriously suicidal. I pray God lead you to a church, to a pastor, to a hospital, to the 1800 suicide number. To the bible. to prayer in the closet. anything so you can live friend and I pray you get to live and make a million and 1 new memories in Jesus name Amen!  life can change.  if you don’t like life sit down with a pen and paper and make a list. Get some help, get some counseling. Life is worth living you probably just going to have to change the direction you are heading in friends. I truly pray if any broken are lead to see this may God just give you a full body healing, mind, body, soul and spirit in Jesus name Amen!

The problem with most of my life is I was chasing fantasy looking for T.V. in reality and honestly that was a majority of my problems. I do mean looking for love in three days. searching for the perfect family. waiting for my dream guy to save me. i was going to get a million dollars from a stranger type thing. The fairy tale t.v. world perfect life romance, Cinderella stories rarely exist in real life, and if we spend all our life looking for never land we will wake up old and say what happened?  Just words to consider! Shalom dear people!