Broken women inspiration-My testimony!

I never understand the completeness of what I have been doing. I never considered anything I been doing. I just have been doing. There are not many woman pastors that move me. and honestly in today’s times not enough men anointed to turn my head. I am sorry I am beyond them ear tickling messages. You have to be deeply rooted in the Word for me to even listen. I am not saying this in a haughty way, but as much time as I spend with God you basically have to be connected with God and spew scriptures out your mouth to catch my interest. I know the WORD when I see it!

For many years when I was being hard headed or rebellious, God would use Joyce Meyers to bring me to tears. She was the only one I could hear, and not because I was looking but because somehow God would always make sure my T.V was left on accidentally and she would be speaking and my own laziness I wouldn’t change the channel or for whatever reason. I never sought out Joyce Meyers. it is just how it went down.

I was raped more then once in my life. I was molested. I lost everything I owned. More then once. Luck wasn’t on my side. I wanted no part of God. What kind of God would allow all this stuff to happen to me? I am cursed. I am doomed. God does not love me. I would pray to God then I would wipe away my tears. God would not talk to someone like me, who am I kidding.

I would slap myself in the face, Not really but I would talk reason to myself. Girl stop talking crazy. God doesn’t love us. it is just me and you and that is all we got. Stop all that non sense. I use to talk to myself like that. Then all of a sudden as I was putting my make up on to get ready. here comes Joyce Meyers. Telling me God loves me. Telling me to read my bible. She said she was raped. or molested or both, what? Now you got my attention. How can anyone who had those things happen smile and say God loves you?

I cried. I confess I didn’t become a Joyce Meyers follower. I said to myself Michelle get over it that lady is just an actress she is getting paid to say that stuff. I would smile and say I love God if people paid me too. I would turn the T.V. off. but too late a small seed was planted. her words would eat my conscience for days.

I have come to understand I am the new generation Joyce Meyers. I am the one that has been telling people. hey we got to read the bible. I am the one that has been standing up confessing my sins and the things I did and they way God healed me. it breaks my heart to see so many call Joyce Meyers false and for those who don’t know, go into the religious crowd and they drag her name down in dirt. Well I am not Joyce and many have done the same thing to me.

I wrote people should pray, read your Word, and here came all those religious folks and they called me false. and the called me a devil too, but they don’t even know me. I would say so the devil tells people to read the bible? The devil tells people to pray and seek God’s face? the devil tells people to repent? to live Godly? No matter what you say these ugly religious people came to spew hate and honestly I was so naive back then. Even though I saw they called Jesus a devil I just thought that they would see I was not a devil.

After all I was not doing what Jesus did, so I thought to myself no way on earth they would call me evil or false. Boy was I wrong. I thank God for everything that has happened to me in the last decade. Some how some way in my own style I am going to be like Joyce Meyers because anyone who tells me to read my Word. I call them people angels and since they called Jesus a devil. I would rather be a devil who points people to Jesus, then be like those who say they are saved and call innocent people they never even met devils.

I am also so thankful God gave me a talent so I would not have to sit and follow people and worry about who is false and who is not. I always think to myself if those who pointed fingers put the mirror in front of self maybe they would have a following, following them instead of them going after people who preach the Word they would be one of the ones who preached too!

Either way I have a heart for the people on drugs, the people in gangs, the molested, the raped, the wounded, the sinners, Because I WAS ONE OF YOU! and I pray I can lead a mighty nation of people like the former me to God and I will let people call me any name they want for the ones who hear I will be called an angel and that is truth and for them I will take a beating like I have been and do IT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!

Sorry dear people I thank God for my life because of everything that happened I able to stand and be a lion and a lamb at the same time and I will be both for GOD! God I thank you for today. I thank you for the past. I thank you for my life. I pray every single ounce of my life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the sorrow, the sweet joy, Use every single ounce of my life for your glory GOD, for the numbers of your Kingdom. to save many in this generation. use everything in my life for you GOD and it will be done! it all ready has been happening and I am so thankful God is able to use my life and give it a purpose otherwise it would of been in vain and if I knew God was going to use all that hurting and suffering to save others I wouldn’t of complained, because God does know I love people so much I would take a beating for my friends if it saved their life and that is truth of who I am and God does know it man!

I pray my heart be so transparent many people get saved in Jesus name Amen! Also my time for dying for others is over. I died my whole life so I can now live and sing praises to GOD! and that is truth beloveds! Either way I pray everyone have a happy new year and truth be told this is the year I will walk in newness with the LORD! ❤ So many new things are coming and I am just thanking GOD in advance! ❤

Be safe and consider! happy New year!

So almost every new year I write the same thing and this year won’t be different. If you must drink tonight be wise. have your ride all ready lined up. have your cab money in your sock so you don’t spend it. if you don’t have a ride stay home and drink dear people. You know just imagine. You can go out drinking and wake up in a jail cell. Have no memory at all. wonder what is going on. Then the next thing an officer goes by. You yell out hey. hey why am I here? The officer looks at you with hate and says you sir are a murderer, what’s a matter don’t remember?

I hear so many say I am fine I can drive and you only think about yourself. What happens if you hit that car with a lady driving who has six kids and you run into her and kill all her kids? or even worst the mom dies and the kids live. People should think about this stuff before they go drinking. because if you are going to continue to be a drinker at least be wise about it. You getting in a accident and dying is not the only thing that can happen. You could be a murderer.

How would that feel? I mean if we drink in drive that technically could happen so might as well start preparing. Please be wise this holiday. be safe and I love you guys! Happy New Year!

I myself will not be drinking or acting a fool and honestly i do pray people get tired of partying. I pray God help many see there is more to life then parties. Would be nice to see people write extensive goals. Not resolutions. goals get done. resolutions don’t. I pray God gift many with wisdom this year and strength to start something new in their world, in Jesus name Amen! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A perfect person

I sought a perfect person, I sought a perfect religion. I sought a perfect tradition. I sought a perfect friend, a perfect relation, a perfect life and all the was vexation to my soul. it was also vanity. Who am I that I should overcome or be over any hard ship in life? Who am I that I should have a life without problems? a life with only joy? what man’s life has been perfected from beginning to end? is such a person alive in earth today?

I know not, but I know I did search many places all over. I sat with the rich. I sat with the poor. I sat with the educated, the simple, many colors, many people and all I saw was people. I looked up to the sky I spoke to God. the only perfection I know is Jesus. I love the Word but is the Word perfected?

They argue languages, they argue wisdom, they say let us look at facts. and so much knowledge, many over look the simple. never understanding something greater then people made people. Do any ever consider the stars, the moon and the skies? we say we are gods, but yet in my brain, I am like why are we not making the things God made?

I am not a perfect person. I am in the middle of creating art, and music and trying to do a million things, and if I was God they would all be done at once. and lately I have been exercising and that has been exhausting me. This was a random note I wrote in this.

Please don’t look upon me thinking I am perfect. I only know God is perfect. I believe Jesus to be perfect. and that is what I believe but I don’t know what others think or do or know but honestly my eyes are going to stay on what I believe is perfection.

Dear God. help me better then I am today. help me be better then I was yesterday. To make good decisions, help me not make excuses but give me super natural strength to be good. to be different. help me do things pleasing to you God. have your way in my life. Plant my feet deeply in you GOD and let me not slip or fall or be cast away but help me walk in Jesus name Amen!

Entitled Generation

These words might not be the most popular but I do pray they populate the earth in Jesus name Amen! People don’t owe you anything. But you do owe your self enough to look with in your self and better your self. Just what I believe. have a blessed super natural day in JESUS! ❤ Sorry dear people I am going to be like my parents and speak in love because I CHOOSE to love you! and no hatred or bad words is going to change my love for you! and Jesus loves you too! ❤ God's love is greater then mine! and I am a 100% believer of is to love is to speak LIFE!  I never had a friend, I called a friend that wanted me to die. I don't call those people friends beloved. But who knows maybe perhaps I am the only one who feels this way, Am I different? You tell me?

A real friend

This letter is written for a lost and confused generation. and I mean no offense when I say these things. but my motto since like the 80’s has been keeping it real. In fact I almost feel like I created that slogan. because I lived by and proclaimed it long before some of this generation was standing.  Now I know in today’s times we all have the slogan. I want somebody to ride and die for me. I want a real homie. but then they think the real homies are the ones who say bad things.

I can see why you guys are confused. A real friend doesn’t tell you to go to jail. A real friend doesn’t tell you to do things that will get you locked up. Now I know some of us are celebrating our music and we think it is cool to sell drugs and do things and then laugh. beat each other up, share it on social media. Hey man I got a million likes. it is all fun and games until somebody pushes someone and they fall on a rock. now you murdered someone. now what? where will you be?  in an prison institution for the next decade or so, maybe more. But honestly, real friends say man that is no life to live!

There is not many people in life who are in jail, if given the chance to do things different, none of them would take that path. I bet they would sit down and study. I bet they would work a few jobs. I bet they would be hard hard workers and work to be successful if they only had a second chance. life is hard to achieve after you have a record. it is hard to accomplish things with a label attached to you in life.

Sometimes in life we have to sit back and think. we all want that loyal person, we all want that faithful friend. Well instead of us all looking for one. if we all became that person where would we be? I mean seriously you can harden your heart, you can hate everyone, we can chase after sin, and say there is no God. But when we look in the world the evidence of God is all around and if you can not see God. perhaps read Romans Chapter one. Because if you have no understanding that God loves us enough to say not sin, then my friends I pray this be the year we sit with Jesus. open up our bibles and look further then just one side, and may this be the year God give us much strength to rise up in Jesus name Amen!

Never in my life do I call the ones who tell me to die my friends. I don’t want to hang with people who tell me to do evil things my friends. Evil deeds have bad results, Every deed produces fruit and once you had a taste of the GOOD fruit, you never want to eat sour grapes again and that is truth beloveds!!

 

 

Addictions-Beloveds I love you!

Dear addicted one now it is said many of us addicts like to replace one addiction for another. We put down weed to pick up alcohol, we put down drinks and pick up drugs, we replace pills with heroin and out with one drug into something new, and so a pattern is created!

This year as a former addict I would like to spread the GOOD news and give you a present!! It is Christmas my friends!!! and to all my addict friends, I love you! My heart is for those who are suffering like the former me. I pray this be the year many of us get addicted TO JESUS!

let us run to God as quick as we do our addictions. let the Word be the new thing we inhale and swallow. There is a peace in Jesus I can’t explain or contain and as I was in the drug crowd and couldn’t wait for the drugs to be passed around, I found out those things were not happiness to me. But at one time I did think they would bring me happiness. So now I pass Jesus around and I tell everyone who suffers from addiction, let Jesus heal you my friends!

I couldn’t quit anything on my own. I had problems that needed healing. I had a life different from others. Nobody on earth could comfort me. I found all my comfort in JESUS! and just as I clung to my drugs in the past I NOW CLING TO JESUS MY FRIENDS! I also now pass out Jesus to all my friends, because honestly that is love. love does not get you addicted, Love teaches us to overcome it! hey put it down or just never pick it up to start with!

I pray this be the season many accept the gift of Jesus. there are no gods in earth that is able to heal like Jesus!!! That is why all these other gods come against Jesus because it is clear to see no other god brings healing, healing only comes through Jesus! and Jesus is healing all willing! the will of God will be settled in earth as it has been since the earth was created my friends! may this be the year we run to Jesus and away from drugs! I tell you when I say Jesus gave me a happiness that no drug in earth ever did and that is truth beloveds!

If you are out there suffering addictions I challenge you to sit with Jesus. Look up testimony of all the addicts Jesus has been healing and ask your self do you want this healing? Because indeed Jesus is giving it to all willing!

Jesus!! my addiction for life! I can not get enough JESUS!!! I WANT MORE! MORE MORE! Happy to say I am FULLY ADDICTED TO JESUS! and this is one addiction I pray I keep forever in Jesus name Amen! I love you guys and I pray many can see the love this letter was written in, in Jesus name Amen!

merry Christmas and may the Lord grant us so much strength we walk away from our drugs and into LIFE. if you keep walking in the same circle expecting new outcomes time for us to consider the path to LIFE beloveds! Just strong words for us to consider! Shalom dear people! ❤ Life Recovery Bible review

The bad guy

I write this letter in the open. I do apologize for any hurt feelings. Sometimes when I say things people don’t like everything I say. I know a lot of people judge people without knowing them. So I will speak truth about myself. I never been one to conform to crowds. because honestly many in crowds are two faced. They say things behind your back they won’t say to your face.

They whisper, they murmur, They complain and honestly, it is real hard for me to relate. Most who have hard times haven’t went through all things I have. So compassion seems to go out the window to the human eye anyways. but quite the contrary. Pity parties don’t solve problems. I believe in God. I could spend ten years writing testimony of all the things I have seen in my life, But I already did that.

So all my life God has been calling me out of bad things, and I hardened my heart, and turned off anything good and I was like everyone else. but I was better then most. This is not something to brag about. I don’t want to be like everyone else. let them go do it. So I isolated myself and honestly I like to be alone, but when you are alone with dark thoughts, that is not a good place to be.

I didn’t believe in God.. Religion had me confused. I started crying to God. I tried to end my life. God would not let me. I testified of this all ready. I tried to not speak to God. For two weeks I couldn’t take it, I cried to God like a  baby, and all of a sudden I started seeing great witness of God in my life. I started hearing God greater than I ever did and I thank God for this.

I never knew it was bible scripture God would hear the cries of the broken and most of my life I ran from God thinking I had to be perfect. This was not true. Anyways it is because of life that made me believe in God. it is because of my prayers. The pastor wasn’t with me. The church wasn’t with me. it was me and God.

I mean not to offend any and perhaps I am the only one who hurts when they sin. I found that obeying God is complete happiness to me. This is why I speak Jesus. I am like if everyone knew God wants us to live and live life abundantly and that does come when we sit with Jesus, my friends.

Religion confused me for a bit. had me running away from God. All this fighting, all this arguing. All them say they are the only way. And God bless their hearts. For many truly love God and others are deceiving. But the bible I read speaks Jesus is the way! and God bless religion and churches! everything has a purpose but in the meanwhile many are suffering from sin. many pastors won’t even step foot into any place but their church, and because of such many are left broken.

If you enjoy everything you are doing. Please just do what you want to do. but to people who are down and always been searching. I truly pray many seek Jesus. I wouldn’t be speaking like a mad woman if I did not believe!

Many say Christianity is weak. Stand in a crowd of nonbelievers and say JESUS and see how weak that is. Some of the strongest men on planet earth won’t even do that friend!

Either way if me saying turn from sin makes me the bad guy. two things. it does not surprise me a bit in this generation. We now call people who hand us knives and say here slit your wrist. We call these people best friends and homies for life! But someone who says HEY GUY! WATCH OUT! YOUR ABOUT TO FALL IN THE DITCH! or if I say get up and walk in the name of Jesus I am the bad guy. Well ok! then a bad guy I will be. but I will continue to throw life jackets, because honestly, I would want others to do it for me!

And God bless everyone. You’re not going to get me to apologize for caring about you. Sorry, Real love doesn’t care if you get offended when real love speaks life my friends. I mean to speak death then I would say I apologize but until then. I am just going to say; I LOVE YOU! 😀 I don’t call people who push me off the bridge friends. just saying…