I never understand the completeness of what I have been doing. I never considered anything I been doing. I just have been doing. There are not many woman pastors that move me. and honestly in today’s times not enough men anointed to turn my head. I am sorry I am beyond them ear tickling messages. You have to be deeply rooted in the Word for me to even listen. I am not saying this in a haughty way, but as much time as I spend with God you basically have to be connected with God and spew scriptures out your mouth to catch my interest. I know the WORD when I see it!
For many years when I was being hard headed or rebellious, God would use Joyce Meyers to bring me to tears. She was the only one I could hear, and not because I was looking but because somehow God would always make sure my T.V was left on accidentally and she would be speaking and my own laziness I wouldn’t change the channel or for whatever reason. I never sought out Joyce Meyers. it is just how it went down.
I was raped more then once in my life. I was molested. I lost everything I owned. More then once. Luck wasn’t on my side. I wanted no part of God. What kind of God would allow all this stuff to happen to me? I am cursed. I am doomed. God does not love me. I would pray to God then I would wipe away my tears. God would not talk to someone like me, who am I kidding.
I would slap myself in the face, Not really but I would talk reason to myself. Girl stop talking crazy. God doesn’t love us. it is just me and you and that is all we got. Stop all that non sense. I use to talk to myself like that. Then all of a sudden as I was putting my make up on to get ready. here comes Joyce Meyers. Telling me God loves me. Telling me to read my bible. She said she was raped. or molested or both, what? Now you got my attention. How can anyone who had those things happen smile and say God loves you?
I cried. I confess I didn’t become a Joyce Meyers follower. I said to myself Michelle get over it that lady is just an actress she is getting paid to say that stuff. I would smile and say I love God if people paid me too. I would turn the T.V. off. but too late a small seed was planted. her words would eat my conscience for days.
I have come to understand I am the new generation Joyce Meyers. I am the one that has been telling people. hey we got to read the bible. I am the one that has been standing up confessing my sins and the things I did and they way God healed me. it breaks my heart to see so many call Joyce Meyers false and for those who don’t know, go into the religious crowd and they drag her name down in dirt. Well I am not Joyce and many have done the same thing to me.
I wrote people should pray, read your Word, and here came all those religious folks and they called me false. and the called me a devil too, but they don’t even know me. I would say so the devil tells people to read the bible? The devil tells people to pray and seek God’s face? the devil tells people to repent? to live Godly? No matter what you say these ugly religious people came to spew hate and honestly I was so naive back then. Even though I saw they called Jesus a devil I just thought that they would see I was not a devil.
After all I was not doing what Jesus did, so I thought to myself no way on earth they would call me evil or false. Boy was I wrong. I thank God for everything that has happened to me in the last decade. Some how some way in my own style I am going to be like Joyce Meyers because anyone who tells me to read my Word. I call them people angels and since they called Jesus a devil. I would rather be a devil who points people to Jesus, then be like those who say they are saved and call innocent people they never even met devils.
I am also so thankful God gave me a talent so I would not have to sit and follow people and worry about who is false and who is not. I always think to myself if those who pointed fingers put the mirror in front of self maybe they would have a following, following them instead of them going after people who preach the Word they would be one of the ones who preached too!
Either way I have a heart for the people on drugs, the people in gangs, the molested, the raped, the wounded, the sinners, Because I WAS ONE OF YOU! and I pray I can lead a mighty nation of people like the former me to God and I will let people call me any name they want for the ones who hear I will be called an angel and that is truth and for them I will take a beating like I have been and do IT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!
Sorry dear people I thank God for my life because of everything that happened I able to stand and be a lion and a lamb at the same time and I will be both for GOD! God I thank you for today. I thank you for the past. I thank you for my life. I pray every single ounce of my life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the sorrow, the sweet joy, Use every single ounce of my life for your glory GOD, for the numbers of your Kingdom. to save many in this generation. use everything in my life for you GOD and it will be done! it all ready has been happening and I am so thankful God is able to use my life and give it a purpose otherwise it would of been in vain and if I knew God was going to use all that hurting and suffering to save others I wouldn’t of complained, because God does know I love people so much I would take a beating for my friends if it saved their life and that is truth of who I am and God does know it man!
I pray my heart be so transparent many people get saved in Jesus name Amen! Also my time for dying for others is over. I died my whole life so I can now live and sing praises to GOD! and that is truth beloveds! Either way I pray everyone have a happy new year and truth be told this is the year I will walk in newness with the LORD! ❤ So many new things are coming and I am just thanking GOD in advance! ❤