The bad guy

I write this letter in the open. I do apologize for any hurt feelings. Sometimes when I say things people don’t like everything I say. I know a lot of people judge people without knowing them. So I will speak truth about myself. I never been one to conform to crowds. because honestly many in crowds are two faced. They say things behind your back they won’t say to your face.

They whisper, they murmur, They complain and honestly, it is real hard for me to relate. Most who have hard times haven’t went through all things I have. So compassion seems to go out the window to the human eye anyways. but quite the contrary. Pity parties don’t solve problems. I believe in God. I could spend ten years writing testimony of all the things I have seen in my life, But I already did that.

So all my life God has been calling me out of bad things, and I hardened my heart, and turned off anything good and I was like everyone else. but I was better then most. This is not something to brag about. I don’t want to be like everyone else. let them go do it. So I isolated myself and honestly I like to be alone, but when you are alone with dark thoughts, that is not a good place to be.

I didn’t believe in God.. Religion had me confused. I started crying to God. I tried to end my life. God would not let me. I testified of this all ready. I tried to not speak to God. For two weeks I couldn’t take it, I cried to God like a  baby, and all of a sudden I started seeing great witness of God in my life. I started hearing God greater than I ever did and I thank God for this.

I never knew it was bible scripture God would hear the cries of the broken and most of my life I ran from God thinking I had to be perfect. This was not true. Anyways it is because of life that made me believe in God. it is because of my prayers. The pastor wasn’t with me. The church wasn’t with me. it was me and God.

I mean not to offend any and perhaps I am the only one who hurts when they sin. I found that obeying God is complete happiness to me. This is why I speak Jesus. I am like if everyone knew God wants us to live and live life abundantly and that does come when we sit with Jesus, my friends.

Religion confused me for a bit. had me running away from God. All this fighting, all this arguing. All them say they are the only way. And God bless their hearts. For many truly love God and others are deceiving. But the bible I read speaks Jesus is the way! and God bless religion and churches! everything has a purpose but in the meanwhile many are suffering from sin. many pastors won’t even step foot into any place but their church, and because of such many are left broken.

If you enjoy everything you are doing. Please just do what you want to do. but to people who are down and always been searching. I truly pray many seek Jesus. I wouldn’t be speaking like a mad woman if I did not believe!

Many say Christianity is weak. Stand in a crowd of nonbelievers and say JESUS and see how weak that is. Some of the strongest men on planet earth won’t even do that friend!

Either way if me saying turn from sin makes me the bad guy. two things. it does not surprise me a bit in this generation. We now call people who hand us knives and say here slit your wrist. We call these people best friends and homies for life! But someone who says HEY GUY! WATCH OUT! YOUR ABOUT TO FALL IN THE DITCH! or if I say get up and walk in the name of Jesus I am the bad guy. Well ok! then a bad guy I will be. but I will continue to throw life jackets, because honestly, I would want others to do it for me!

And God bless everyone. You’re not going to get me to apologize for caring about you. Sorry, Real love doesn’t care if you get offended when real love speaks life my friends. I mean to speak death then I would say I apologize but until then. I am just going to say; I LOVE YOU! 😀 I don’t call people who push me off the bridge friends. just saying…



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