Spirit of heaviness

A spirit of heaviness. suicidal, depression, grief, long suffering. These things are real. They have help centers, medication, but as a person who suffered much grief. when was down God did lead me to Psalms. My bible randomly fell open to Psalms 27. I was holding it and crying to God. after a failed suicide attempt. I could not find answers to my depression. Nobody could give me the words or pills to cure me. I was incurable.

I was crying talking to God my bible fell open to Psalms 27. I read it in tears. I got to the end. I lingered on these two scriptures.

Psalms 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

I read them a few times I started crying more. I started talking to God. Fainted? what does that mean? I am beyond fainting? I need help. I need this pain to go away. This was after my suicide attempt I made mention of on my page. You can find it you want to. labeled suicide attempt part one and 2. Feel free to go watch them both. put suicide in the search bar on my site and it should take you right to them.

Either way when I found out I lived. I said I would not ever try again because honestly what if I failed again too. I just learned my lesson but honestly I was not happy to be alive. and for almost two weeks I would not speak to God. Then I broke down. That is when the bible feel open to that scripture. and I wept to God. and honestly I heard God. but I thought it was the devil because God told me God would heal me. and I did not believe. I did not even believe I was curable. But somehow God changed everything about my mind.

Sometimes I think medicines work. Sometimes I think people need to look at their life. I would love to say everyone pray and find God but the reality of that being is maybe not that great. and even if you don’t call on God today, years from now this conversation could save your life. But I also know if you put it to practice sooner it can help you.

I believe in God. I believe in the power of God. I believe God came to heal the broken. What turns people into believers is the power of the things they say to God. and the things that come after. Seeing makes you a believer, anyways that is what I believe.

God really spoke to my soul. you are what you put in you. change your music. Draw near to me and I will cleanse you of everything. I will create you into something you will not recognize. I never believed, I had to see it with my own eyes, but I tell you it has been many years, and many things are come and I do know I am not down like I was and honestly I can only give my credit to God. Someone I know just recently committed suicide and it seems like everywhere I been going last few days everyone is talking about being depressed. feeling like killing them self. My friends if that is you please get some help. Go to a mental hospital. call a hotline or call on Jesus.

I have been so happy lately and the last few years, maybe even longer, and half of me almost doesn’t want to admit it, because most of the world is in sorrow. and honestly all the years I did go through sorrow I am happy to say I am not now. God taught me how to be content in all situations and I am thankful for that. because I don’t think I have a perfect life. in fact even this year I went through things that would slow others down. but something about trusting God. just takes all them worries and stuff away, they just aren’t yours anymore.

I do say I believe instead of thinking on the negative. Think about the good. because as little as you have and as bad as it is. it can always get worst. Sit down with a paper. make goals of where you see your self. Force yourself to think positive. the Word of God is mind transforming I think anyways. but seriously hard to get up when your only thinking things to bring you down.

People are out there without homes, without shelter, without running water. Children are being raped and mothers lose children. please just think, man I am alive. I could be worst and as long as I live I can change. Take all your doubt to God. Lord I can’t do it. I can’t change. I can’t do anything on my own. help me God. put me on a path to lift myself up.

if you’re in a bad situation pray yourself out of it. if your in a bad circle and don’t know how to go forward. pray and ask God to send you angels and help. Set your heart on life and God and you might find what you are looking for. That is what I believe dear people.

P.S. I did not write about bad things so you can stay there. i wrote about them so you can say man I am blessed I have more then others. I am alive. I can still change my life.. That is a blessing friends! I only say these things, for these are the things I did in my life and they helped me greatly, I pray they help others too. have a blessed day dear people!

Also if you are doing drugs and thinking suicidal thoughts. Find help. Drugs are downers, even uppers when you come down are downers. they are all depressants my friends. Want to know why you aren’t happy? if you are doing drugs it is because you are an addict and feeding the fuel and sorry it might hurt but it is truth. You want happiness go to rehab or go to Jesus and ask for full body healing because it is fact drugs don’t bring happiness. just temporal empty feelings with a desire to get more drugs, never ending cycle of depression friends and that is truth!

I pray many get drunk of the Holy Spirit. best High on planet earth! To be clean, sober and praising God. To be delivered. To find happiness without destroying yourself! Best high on earth!

Isaiah 61! replace sorrow with praise. A change of music is smoothing. I love God music it breathes life into the bones! If you listen to songs about slicing your wrist when you’re down or how God awful this world is, Don’t be surprised if those thoughts multiply.Β Β Input produces Output.

3 thoughts on “Spirit of heaviness

  1. God Bless you Michelle. I am personally a breathing and walking testimony of what Jesus Christ to how He can turn one’s life around. He doesn’t force us; It is a choice. I was a Sucidal in my early age 21. I had tried more then once. I had alot of issures. I Am today can tell others that I am Born Again. I Fellow Jesus Christ. Anytime a voice of negative whisper to you it would not be from Jesus Christ. The devil is a liar, we must remember that Satan once was a beautiful angle, and what all happen to him, and why it happen. Satan has no love for any of God’s creations. Today I am thankful and grateful that Jesus Christ Who Saved my Soul. He had a purpose for my life. Just as He has purpose for you and many others. It is for us to continue to be witnessness, share our tesimony’s with others about who Jesus Christ is. His a God with Uncondtional Love. I will stop here. Thank you for sharing. Shalom!! Agape!! \0/\0/ ((Hugs)) πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This was a my response to someone’s suicide post in a Christian group and I am a believer of this! Only the devil wants us to die and God gave us power to crush the serpents head with our feet. Die devil! You can not have me I shall not die but live!! and praise GOD for it in the same sentence HALLELUJAH! GOD turns weeping into to dancing and devil head stomping! πŸ˜€ anyways this was my reply.
      “have a blessed day and thank you for your comment! The devil is a lie and this to shall come to pass and I speak life into your mind. You shall not die but live and God will perform a mighty miracle in your life and just as I one day you will be able to sing to God a new tune! I am praying for you but more so I am rebuking the devil and say get your hands off you can not have what is GOD’s and death shall not win for Jesus has say over death and not today devil. I stomp on your head. I stomp out the thought and I speak LIFE you shall NOT die but live! have a wonderful day beloved! rejoice! God loves you more then you know and your life may not make sense now but tribulations build us up and one day you will look back and remember this moment and smile and say THANK God I lived! God bless you dear! You are loved by God!”

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s