Old Wretched Woman I am

Shattered, alone, naked I cried.

Isolated I was. In the pits of despair. I am forgotten.

I am forsaken. Where am I?  Why am I here?

It’s dark. I am scared. I am tired. I am alone.

Where am I? Why is this?

Not this again. Where are my friends?

 

I am ugly. Nobody loves me. I hate myself.

I hate my family. I hate my life.

Why? man why? why? why?

 

Broken in a million pieces. Shattered into dust. I am alone on the floor all by myself.. My pieces only to keep me company. no good for myself.  How can I exist? I am not even whole?  I am not good to anybody. I am not even good to myself. I am lower then dirt. in mud I sank. I can’t breathe. I am drowning. Will anybody save me? Where are my so called friends?

Isolated, alone in the dark. Me by myself facing my fears. I am not good at this stuff. I try to tell people. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me, nobody cares. Oh wretched woman I am.

Truth be told. years ago I could of added so much to this. but now a days I say oh no girl! We can’t write that dark stuff anymore! I am so glad God healed my mind!  Many years ago those thoughts ruled my mind. That is how I felt and I could of added hours into that if I wanted to, but honestly I refuse to even write that way but if I wanted to I could.

 

I learned in my life you want a new outcome. Change your approach. It is so hard to do when you are down in the dumps and I could say you can do anything you put your mind to. But I never had that power.  All my power comes from God. All my strengths I only got from being weak and praying in my closet and that is truth.

 

And honestly I am so thankful I did this because I wouldn’t want anyone else on planet earth getting God’s credit. That is who I am and honestly I only got this way from being that broken person.  Isaiah Chapter 9 is a wonderful Chapter especially when you listen to JESUS. John 8:12. I pray many find Light in their dark hour, even in your darkest hours friends. I pray God shine so bright it blinds you from all your hurt, all your pain and suffering. Those are my prayers and I truly believe God will answer them. may Jesus heal you, bless you and keep you my friend

 

Oh wretched woman I am. I am so thankful I called out to God in my broken hours, in my weakness, in my saddest, when I was homeless, when I was hungry, when I was thirsty God did give me drink and food and shelter!!! I am so thankful God heard my prayers and I do believe God hears those who seek earnestly. Jesus did not come for the holy or the righteous or even those who love their sin. Matthew 9:11-13. Jesus came to heal the sick. to cleanse the people of their sins, to give them life on planet earth and after. and  I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU JESUS! For those who know you and those who don’t and seriously God I pray you help many who know you not, see your face and make your presence be known to them in Jesus name Amen!

I love how in Isaiah he prays. he knew he was a man of unclean lips. I also love that in Nehemiah, he says he knew he sinned. So did David confess his sins, and Paul like spoke it all over. I just truly love my bible!!! ❤ ❤ How could any wretched person not? All our deeds are like filthy rags. Man God if we can only but touch your hem your blood shall makes us whole as you made the woman with blood issues whole. if the hem cleansed her, Luke 8:43-48. just think about what His Blood does!!! I pray many follow Jesus so you can really find out about the blood of Jesus. The Blood of Jesus that was shed for our sins. Isaiah says come lets us reason and although our sins be red like scarlet they shall be washed clean! THAT IS SO POWERFUL!! HALLELUJAH!

 

For the Blood of Jesus was shed to save us sinners. AMEN! I pray many find this truth and it be LIFE UNTO US!

God bless everybody! I would not label myself an old wretched woman now. I would call myself a woman made new by God and I have new thoughts. A new mind set and am a new person! Those deep dark thoughts are things I thought many years ago. and I pray I never think them again in my life and I am sure I will not. I use to be suicidal and God healed me of that!! Thank GOD! THANK YOU JESUS! I am actually going to share my testimony on that soon coming.  I pray if any out there have those dark thoughts I once did God heal your mind as God did me and perhaps if you are new to my page. come back and look for the testimony I will speak and I truly pray it help you my friend. have a wonderful day!

God if there be any like the former me who read this. I pray bless their mind. Fill them with your Holy Spirit and give them much strength to rise on their own two feet again. Comfort their mind. comfort their tears. Lead them to you oh God. Your will be done, add unto your numbers daily God. Draw us into the gates of the city. cast down your pearls of wisdom to us people. God call us one by one and lead us by your Holy Spirit in Jesus name Amen! Shalom dear people. I pray the reader be touched by the Holy Spirit and God shine the Spirit of God into your life, into your homes and everything you own.  May you see Jesus!  Have a wonderful night dear people or day if that is when you read this!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s