It’s real

Depression is real. Suicide is real.  Sorrow is real. life is hard. Life can change. I pray many out there today start to look at life a different way. All people are born knowing they will die one day. it is a fact of life. nobody on earth knows when their time will come.

 

I am old now and I realize as I did as a kid but I have such a deeper understanding now and I am sure as long as you don’t lose it, you probably know so much more at 80 then you do forty and 40 year olds laugh at twenty year olds who think they know everything. So I fully confess I don’t know everything but I do know a lot more then I did years ago.

 

To me I have seen many people in my life. Some have labels and others don’t, but I seen all people I know it seems go through some dark hour. When they want to quit. or get tired. or even want to end their life. I seen many stop functioning. other pick up drugs. and self abuse our self in the many numerous ways there is to self abuse our self.

 

I love people. I had that life. I could of, should of quit a millions of times. I wanted to. I tried. I thank God for intervening. I seriously do. I have memories I never could of had if I had not of kept going. I had many years of joy since those dark days. I have learned by reading the Book of Ecclesiastes which helped me so much in life! Life is full of seasons my friends. it is not about being easy. and when you have easy you should really take time and thank God because at any second you can lose easy.  Then many will call on God at their worst. P.S. you might not want to enjoy “too” much wine. as the book of Ecclesiastes does mention to enjoy wine. But there is a lot of understanding in that Book of the Bible! Too much wine makes you a drunkard and that is not productive.

 

I say it is good habit to call on God always. In all things I have learned to thank God. being content in everything is good advice but truth be told I consider it wise to live life like you might grow old one day. and I don’t mean by partying your years away.  it is hard trying to start over at an old age. and many young people do dumb things never believing they will be old.

 

Just food for thought. I know when I was depressed and down and even when I am up now I praise God. I thank God. I once complained and things got worst. Years ago I wanted many people to pray for me and some did and others did not.. I thank God for all the ones that did and even those who did not but best thing in the world was when I started calling on God when I was alone.

 

If you are depressed and crying might as well take those tears to God and make them count. Even if you don’t believe in God. Say that out loud and talk to God and I pray God show up in your life. I use to talk to God like a crazy woman. I would speak God my heart when I was all alone and then so many times I would say God would not hear somebody like me. My friend those prayers were answered and I truly believe if God answered my prayers he will answer anyone’s who does call on God earnestly.

 

In my bible it tells me God answers prayers from people like me. I never knew that before when I wasn’t reading. I was just praying. I was tired. I didn’t want to be like I was anymore and I confessed all that stuff to God. I poured my heart out to God. I pray someone out there like the former me do the same thing and you see God in your life as I have. I only speak this because it helped me so much and I truly pray it help others too who are broken. being depressed is terrible. being broken is not good. God is the Potter. and I believe God can create man out of dust of the ground. I also believe God can give a valley of dead bones new life. and honestly I believe that is such a small thing for God to do. Just what I believe. have a blessed day dear people! Ezekiel Chapter 37, and Genesis Chapter 2. Jeremiah Chapter 18. Isaiah Chapter 64. Shalom! ❤

Old Wretched Woman I am

Shattered, alone, naked I cried.

Isolated I was. In the pits of despair. I am forgotten.

I am forsaken. Where am I?  Why am I here?

It’s dark. I am scared. I am tired. I am alone.

Where am I? Why is this?

Not this again. Where are my friends?

 

I am ugly. Nobody loves me. I hate myself.

I hate my family. I hate my life.

Why? man why? why? why?

 

Broken in a million pieces. Shattered into dust. I am alone on the floor all by myself.. My pieces only to keep me company. no good for myself.  How can I exist? I am not even whole?  I am not good to anybody. I am not even good to myself. I am lower then dirt. in mud I sank. I can’t breathe. I am drowning. Will anybody save me? Where are my so called friends?

Isolated, alone in the dark. Me by myself facing my fears. I am not good at this stuff. I try to tell people. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me, nobody cares. Oh wretched woman I am.

Truth be told. years ago I could of added so much to this. but now a days I say oh no girl! We can’t write that dark stuff anymore! I am so glad God healed my mind!  Many years ago those thoughts ruled my mind. That is how I felt and I could of added hours into that if I wanted to, but honestly I refuse to even write that way but if I wanted to I could.

 

I learned in my life you want a new outcome. Change your approach. It is so hard to do when you are down in the dumps and I could say you can do anything you put your mind to. But I never had that power.  All my power comes from God. All my strengths I only got from being weak and praying in my closet and that is truth.

 

And honestly I am so thankful I did this because I wouldn’t want anyone else on planet earth getting God’s credit. That is who I am and honestly I only got this way from being that broken person.  Isaiah Chapter 9 is a wonderful Chapter especially when you listen to JESUS. John 8:12. I pray many find Light in their dark hour, even in your darkest hours friends. I pray God shine so bright it blinds you from all your hurt, all your pain and suffering. Those are my prayers and I truly believe God will answer them. may Jesus heal you, bless you and keep you my friend

 

Oh wretched woman I am. I am so thankful I called out to God in my broken hours, in my weakness, in my saddest, when I was homeless, when I was hungry, when I was thirsty God did give me drink and food and shelter!!! I am so thankful God heard my prayers and I do believe God hears those who seek earnestly. Jesus did not come for the holy or the righteous or even those who love their sin. Matthew 9:11-13. Jesus came to heal the sick. to cleanse the people of their sins, to give them life on planet earth and after. and  I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU JESUS! For those who know you and those who don’t and seriously God I pray you help many who know you not, see your face and make your presence be known to them in Jesus name Amen!

I love how in Isaiah he prays. he knew he was a man of unclean lips. I also love that in Nehemiah, he says he knew he sinned. So did David confess his sins, and Paul like spoke it all over. I just truly love my bible!!! ❤ ❤ How could any wretched person not? All our deeds are like filthy rags. Man God if we can only but touch your hem your blood shall makes us whole as you made the woman with blood issues whole. if the hem cleansed her, Luke 8:43-48. just think about what His Blood does!!! I pray many follow Jesus so you can really find out about the blood of Jesus. The Blood of Jesus that was shed for our sins. Isaiah says come lets us reason and although our sins be red like scarlet they shall be washed clean! THAT IS SO POWERFUL!! HALLELUJAH!

 

For the Blood of Jesus was shed to save us sinners. AMEN! I pray many find this truth and it be LIFE UNTO US!

God bless everybody! I would not label myself an old wretched woman now. I would call myself a woman made new by God and I have new thoughts. A new mind set and am a new person! Those deep dark thoughts are things I thought many years ago. and I pray I never think them again in my life and I am sure I will not. I use to be suicidal and God healed me of that!! Thank GOD! THANK YOU JESUS! I am actually going to share my testimony on that soon coming.  I pray if any out there have those dark thoughts I once did God heal your mind as God did me and perhaps if you are new to my page. come back and look for the testimony I will speak and I truly pray it help you my friend. have a wonderful day!

God if there be any like the former me who read this. I pray bless their mind. Fill them with your Holy Spirit and give them much strength to rise on their own two feet again. Comfort their mind. comfort their tears. Lead them to you oh God. Your will be done, add unto your numbers daily God. Draw us into the gates of the city. cast down your pearls of wisdom to us people. God call us one by one and lead us by your Holy Spirit in Jesus name Amen! Shalom dear people. I pray the reader be touched by the Holy Spirit and God shine the Spirit of God into your life, into your homes and everything you own.  May you see Jesus!  Have a wonderful night dear people or day if that is when you read this!

I believe in…

I believe in the trinity, as some teach it. and I also believe in the Oneness doctrine. I been in debates when people tell me how can that be they say? or they can not come to understanding as me. I will answer all these questions in one sentence. I believe JESUS works in all things! and I believe IN THE NAME OF JESUS! I believe my bible from beginning to end. I believe Jesus when He says I and my Father are ONE, and even those who doubt, how can you say you believe and take away from Acts Chapter 2. or even take away from the words of JESUS spoken whole? I BELIEVE IN THE NAME OF JESUS! I believe in Jesus and the best thing on this planet came when I sat at my LORD Jesus’ feet. What a true blessing indeed! So WONDERFUL JESUS IS!

MY GOD IS THREE IN ONE! Amen! I BELIEVEEEEEEEEEEEEE! also if you want to see how I believe about the trinity, feel free to use the search bar on my page and type in trinity then you can see what I say (believe) about that. God bless everyone who reads this today! I pray your day is blessed and wonderful and God fill you with peace, a new spirit and a new mind set and all things that work for men’s favor and God’s glory. Those are my prayers. Have a wonderful day dear people! I love you guys and I truly pray the listener be blessed with the joy of the LORD, may the joy of the LORD be restored with in us and give us strength and lead us to LIFE abundantly in Jesus name Amen! ❤ Jesus is the best thing that ever came to planet earth and it would be a shame not to come to understanding of this. That is what I believe!

Hey Your Breathe Stinks!

This is a testimony of something that happened as a child. it is also an introduction to my page. I am crossing over to a lot of new things and as someone who is use to her speech I know the things that happen when I speak so I am also adding unto this my beliefs. That way any who don’t want to be here can leave. I do pray some are lead to my page and my words be life savers to you. This video might not be so productive but it’s whole purpose is an introduction. Also I left the comments open. Whether good or bad, it is ok, feel free to have, and keep your opinion. You may also voice them in the open if you want to. I love haters. they motivate me. I love followers. I love likes. I appreciate kind words. I love people who are on my side. I love people of all kinds for whether good or bad they all feed me in positive ways and that is truth! Have a blessed wonderful day dear people and I pray God place the listener in a WONDERFUL MOOD! prayerfully it be today, or tomorrow. or if not, next year or even a year from that. I don’t care when, but I truly want the best for all my friends! and that is truth! I pray God bring the listener much peace of mind those are my prayers! Shalom! Love you guys! ❤