The grass is not greener

I am to the point I would rather pray then preach. I am to the point where I just want to rejoice, instead of judge people.  A life change. I honestly no longer want to do the things I was doing for the last decade.  I was making a lot of change earlier in the year. But as the next few years of my life, as long as time allows maybe for a decade, maybe more maybe less, all I want to do is grow.


I write music. I write poetry. I make jewelry.  I am even going to journey into art work. I am picking up other languages. I am old. I am single. I am not looking. I truthfully don’t even think it is possible to have another relationship in my life. I am real cautious with who I let in and as I am not a spring chicken. I just don’t see the possibility. For I like to be friends. I don’t want to sleep with the first person that makes me feel good. and honestly I don’t want to have sex without marriage. and I don’t think I am interested.  Again it would take years for me to consider such things and I just think realistically it just isn’t possible.


I am ok with this. I was single for many years and at first it bothered me, now I am just ok with it. I want to spend the rest of my days with God and moving forward. learning things, Enjoying life.  I apologize if that seems selfish but every once in awhile I may write or speak some testimony, or a story or offer some good advice but other then that I am changing paths. Believe it or not I am even learning to speak better English. learning how to pronounce words I never bothered to learn.

Part of my life I didn’t even want to live. Now I am older I just want to enjoy all the time I have left. No matter how much that is. I don’t want to waste any hours letting people walk over me. Speaking words to people who don’t want to hear it. Being attacked because I care. I leave that to the younger generation and may God be with them and strengthen their harvest but as for me I am happily going to sit and do things that are pleasing to me.

I referred to myself as Anna because honestly I like being alone with God. The hours I spend praying. The hours I spend with the Lord I wouldn’t want to give that up for any. I have done that in times past and none of that ever worked in my favor.  Years ago all I wanted to do was be married. have kids, be a good mother that was my dream.


The saddest thing I think is not that I did not get to live my dream, but that many are and they don’t even appreciate it.  It seems all of us people want stuff we don’t have. Always thinking the grass is greener in someone else’s back yard!   I am no longer gazing in my neighbor’s yard. I am trimming my own yard. planting flowers and bushes and admiring my own yard.


I learned most the time when people get what they want they don’t appreciate it anyways or they find that is not what they want anyways. Curly hair people want straight hair.  married people want to be single. poor people want to be rich. I never heard a rich say they wish they were poor but I have seen rich envy the things poor people have that money can’t buy.


Either way I am almost 50 and I don’t have time to waste looking in other’s people’s back yards. I just want to sit in my rocking chair and enjoy getting old and growing in wisdom.  I pray I can speak a word that can be a life saver to the next generation. This is my mind frame.


I do have a whole bunch of new hobbies and honestly I managed to keep God in all of them! I pray the new things I am doing produce much fruit but honestly the seeds are just being planted. I pray i have a good harvest! Anyways good night dear people. Or have a blessed day if it is just beginning. Mine is ending and I am off to enjoy some sleep!


4 times dead

So I almost died four times this year.  I wrote about the first incident but was not real public about the other.  I am not writing about those stories.  I am going to say the first time was a car accident. I should of died two times in one incident and yet I walked away to tell the story of it.  It was two days before my birthday and it really changed my thinking.  This was not the first time I encountered death. But seriously it was something I had not had to think about for awhile.


I have so many stories about times I should of been dead and yet  here I am. This really made me start to think about life. Especially now that I am older.  A couple years back I was writing hardcore messages about appreciating life. Tomorrow is promised to NO man. About getting right with God and not fearing end days, for we can all die before the Lord returns and if you die you have to answer to God. so what a good time to start seeking the Lord and live right by God now.  I wrote almost a solid year many different ways on messages about these types of things. Tomorrow being promised to no one.


I am not going to rewrite everything I wrote. Was just writing so you get the point.  Well after the accident something else happened but this was worst. I got beat up real bad. I almost died twice again and thank God I did not! but that is the story I am not speaking much about.  I would be lying if I said it did not slow me down. For almost two days I cried. but then I said to myself. believe it or not this is not the worst thing I lived through. So I said wow. I realized I was not even effected.


But that was not really the truth. The truth is I was knocked down. it was hard to recover took almost 2 and a half months for the physical beating to heal but after that my mind.. It was hard to get back on the same mind frame I had before I got knocked down. and honestly I am not sure I would of made it if I did not pray. I had to pray and talk to God and honestly now it is months later and I am good.


Believe it or not all these things I wrote just made me stronger. just  made me remember my own words. and I thank God for my words because they saved me. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. in just a blink of an eye your whole life can change. You can go from rags to riches. from being a billionaire to broke in half a second. You can lose your loved ones. You can lose your house. You can die my friends at any given moment. These are the things I wrote. and still write.


I am not going to live in the past. Those little incidents that happened this year were nothing to my life I lived. I had just gotten comfortable in my years. for I have lived in safety for awhile now and not the world wind I did when I was younger.  I am really thankful for my younger years. Although if I could choose or go back I don’t think I would of did all the things I did. or choose to go through the things I did. But at the same time I am thankful it did happen or I think I would of still be down.


I do not think I am invincible. In fact quite the opposite. I think I am highly blessed to be alive and I am so thankful to be here to tell this story and that is truth.  If you make amends with all people and live your days in accordance to God it seems death is not a scary thing. We are all born knowing we will pass away. But none of us know the hour of when we will go.


Sometimes the doctor will say you got a couple hours to live but for the most part we do not know when we will go. As a person who thinks often, there was times in my life if I had died I would of been mad. Things I would of wanted to say to people. Things I would of wanted to make right. years ago I made right with all people. now if I passed away I would not feel bad. I am thankful I took time to make my wrongs right!  it was a heavy burden I had long ago.


Anyways I write this because I speak God and in the God world all these people talk about end days and what is going to happen. Whatever will happen, will happen. Worrying about things that may not come does not help. My advice…. get right with God. Make amends, live a life you don’t have to be sorry about.  We are all born knowing we will die. Just what hour, what time, and when? Not something I myself will spend any time thinking about, instead I say, Lord I trust you! Your will be done, when it is my time it is my time. I just want to give you thanks while I am alive!  Each day I rise I thank you God and that is my story, my life, the way I think and belief. I pray this random story blesses someone today and give you something to think about friends. Have a blessed day dear people!

The blame game

You can spend twenty years pointing blame on other people or you can take a few moments, look at what you did and then say, hey I am not them! I AM ME!  If everyone spends all our days pointing out the faults of other people. and even using the faults of others to justify us doing evil. Then nothing will ever be solved. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem. Change the equation. if everyone one around you is gossiping, then lead by example… don’t gossip. Sometimes you have to own up to the things you did and move on. Even if others are not doing that stuff.


Justifying one’s actions and doing something equal or worst is not ok. it is just an ongoing never ending problem. It is also something drug addicts do. or people with all kind of problems do. Hey! I just steal, I don’t murder.  I didn’t get pregnant out of wedlock I just been sleeping with a married man for ten years but hey I didn’t have a kid so somehow I am better. I have to drink, I have problems. There is always a reason. Always some justification.


I use to entertain such things and I can confess, I played that game too but then I got tired. So much ugly. I am not a follower. I don’t have to be a bully, just because everyone else is. I will stand up to the bully. if we all run then the bully gets away with it. I may not be right in my thinking but honestly I just can’t sit around waiting for my hero to come. Waiting for someone else to do what I can do myself. I use to do those things and it got me no where.


No matter what ugly others do you. I notice in my life it does not pay to return bad deeds with bad actions. If you do a bad action, to a bad action done to you, it just turns into a never ending growing bad, that has a bad outcome. Just an observation I made in my life many years ago. That is what brought me to my knees. and I asked God for strength because honestly you get tired looking for someone to be the right person. Someone to stand up and make a difference. Sometimes that someone has to be you.


This is how I think. random thoughts. I pray they be a blessing to some one. Be different to make a difference.  Instead of us all looking for that good person. How about we be it. If everyone got that mentality, would the world be in the condition it is now? Something to think about. or maybe not. and even if nobody on planet earth thinks as me I will continue to be me. I am content this way. Have a blessed day dear people! I pray God help many of us get so sick and tired of being sick and tired we get up and do something about it. and I don’t mean in a negative way. truly love wins. I believe this!


Written in the utmost love for all people!

The Past is gone

You can’t live in the future when your dwelling place is the past.  Yes they did that to you. Yes this happened to you. it is over. let it rest in peace. You can’t have a future if you live in the past. I pray you look at the here and now and look towards the future. If you dwell in the past your whole life can pass away and you will die never living a life only dwelling in a past, when you could of made change.  You can’t walk if you are sitting down. and in order to walk you have to move your feet. leave the past behind. it is dead. Move on. I myself would not even revisit it.  Just what I consider solid advice from a good friend! I love you guys and it is time for us to move on.


If your past is terrible. Let it go. learn from it. make better decisions and if things happened to you not because of your decisions let it go. Start a new life. Living in the past is deadly. You can get caught up in things that are not even happening, but still living because you keep reliving it.  I hope these words make sense to somebody today and they be a blessing to you and an encouragement to move forward! in Jesus name Amen!  Have a blessed day dear people!


God does not remember our sin. When you are forgiven, they are forgotten. You should not remember sin either just make a new path to not do it.  Strong advice. Love you guys. I pray we let the past rest in peace and make a new way!  For we are in the land of the living and each day we rise is a wonderful new chance to create something new. Food for thought and growth. Shalom!

Running out of titles

Praiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the LORD dear people!  So I am running out of fancy titles to call my post. Just saying good morning!!!!!!! to all the wonderful people. I pray your day be blessed and God help you today and fill us with peace as we begin our journey through the day. Be with us God, give us strength to perform daily deeds and fill us with much wisdom to give us a new direction or keep us on the right path In Jesus name Amen!


I pray your day be filled with sun and if not I pray the Son shine all through your days!  I woke up this morning feeling fresh and wonderful. I thank God for waking me this morning!!! I am excited to see what God has prepared for me today!  I remember a time in my life I dreaded waking up. I hated life and even self. I thank God so much for giving me a new mind set and teaching me how to receive each day as a wonderful new beginning and new opportunity to see what God has planned for me today!


I thank God for my fire, and my new passion and love I have for LIFE!  it is a blessing to receive it and I give God all my thanks early in the A.M and all through the day FOR INDEED GOD IS WORTHY! Shalom dear people!  Make a joyful noise for GOD in the land of the living Saints lift up our voices and give GOD thanks in all things we do, in Jesus name Amen!  have a blessed day dear people!