I use to think about death. I use to long for it. I thank God, God delivered me from that stuff. See while you are thinking about death, might as well think about all of it.  What if you pull the trigger and live? what if you jump and survive?  So instead of a life that sucks, you now have a worse life to live. only this time you can’t end your life for you have no arms and legs. you sit in a chair. You use to walk. now you have no choice but to live.


You pull the trigger. you live. only now you’re a little slower and unable to grasp complete sentences. This is how you will live out your lives friends. Either way I have my own little story I tell people of when they want to go take them self out. I mean not to be hurtful but as a women who really tried to kill herself. trust me when I say a person who really wants to will, and they won’t tell a soul for they do not want to be caught. Most of the time I think those who claim suicide just really seeking attention and sorry, as a woman who had these thoughts and acted on them. I think I have a right to think these things.


There is a lot worst things that can happen my friends then thinking about suicide. I pray God heal the minds of those who want to take their own lives. I know God can heal you for God delivered me from that stuff. I leave you with some real words to consider. First off go look up the guy that jumped off the golden gate bridge. (the survivor stories-you can find them on youtube if you want or google it)  Most who jumped off by the time they jumped down wished they had never jumped.


I have told people of a failed attempt, I went through and I planned it perfect. I planned it so perfect nobody came and checked on me. Nobody found me or stopped me and if God had not intervened I would of been dead and honestly it is many years later and I can honestly say, I thank God for not allowing me to take my life. So many memories I got to have that I would not of. Not to mention I never knew my life could or would change, and honestly if I had seen a vision of my older years I would of gladly embraced my younger years. and that is truth my friends. I will not at this time tell my suicide story and honestly I may not speak it ever again. But to the ones who want to, first and foremost if your mind is truly made up nobody’s words in the world will change your mind.


But for those who just think that is a better ending to life, what if you fail? what if you create a worse  problem then what you are living in now? Seriously to those who hate their life. Look around always some one worst then you. You were raped? many were raped. You are poor? many are poor. look into some third world countries.  Your Mom hates you? My friends parents abandoned their kids all the time.  Life is not perfect and honestly it truly is, if you hate your life perhaps it is time to sit down with a paper and pen and start making some changes.


Pity parties don’t solve anything. if you are feeling down listen to others with worst problems then you. Might make you celebrate your life.  Today might not look good but tomorrow can be different especially if you start making some changes. Just some advice from a woman who has been down that road before.  if you can spend hours thinking negative thoughts you can indeed spend some time thinking about making change. With all the youtube and videos and places you can examine things again start looking at people with problems worst then you. or listen to testimony of people who been through what you have and now are overcome. Just some advice i give to people. seriously life is hard and if you give up now you will never get to see the rewards.


There are good things to live through and if you quit now you will never get to find that out.  Just words to consider. I pray God bless the reader and if you are filled with depression, sorrow and suicide that Almighty God help you over come, in Jesus name Amen! Sorry my friends if God did it for me I believe God can do it for any willing. Just my testimony! Also drugs and alcohol are not a cure for depression it actually makes the problem worst. so if this is you, I pray you get help. Go to AA or get to a church because honestly adding drugs and alcohol to depression is just putting gasoline on a forest fire.


it is hard to get a better life when your drowning your sorrow in booze and drugs my friends. I am just keeping it real.  Love you guys and I pray many with suicidal thoughts get some help and God help you establish a life that it not filled with sorrow but joy. My prayers. God be with us and help a new generation of people rise up and overcome the lie the devil has laid down for them. in Jesus name Amen! Psalm 30:5, Psalm 30:11, the whole Psalm is a lovely read, and in my darkest hour God lead me to Psalm 31 and that is when a new day was for me and I am so thankful God did not leave me forgotten. although I was a broken dead vessel my friends and now God gave me a new tune!  THANK YOU JESUS! Also maybe perhaps my last three post about changing music may be a help to you. or at lease words to consider! Shalom dear people!

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